Harry Potter? Severus Snape? Hot Sex? *vomit*

I am taking a break from this vicious cycle of self torture. I am (for some reason) reading the Harry Potter books in reverse order. After just getting over Sirius' heartwrenching death I now find myself immersed in PoA and I'm contemplating the kitchen knives in a very unhealthy manner.

I hate tragic heros of any kind. They all make the bottom lip go all aquiver.

In some need of Sirius shaped comfort I went for a wander around the Sirius LiveJournal communities and fell (completely by accident) upon a Snape/Harry fic.

SCARRED. FOR. LIFE.

I am a rabid Yaoifangirl, but there are some things that squick even me. I mean, come on... Snape and Harry???? O_o

I feel ill. Okay, okay, so I continuously pimp the 93 relationship from Saiyuki when alot of people view it as incest (it's NOT! Goku is NOT Sanzo's son! Goku is 500 years OLDER than Sanzo for fuck's sake!) so I may be acting slightly hypocritically. But still...

Harry having sex... SEX... with Snape! Using potions as lubrication and doing things with a wand that would make Voldemort whimper. Do you think if I shove soap far enough up my nose I'll be able to wash my brain?

In other news... it is likely that Prince Harry will face a battlefield ban. Yes, random of me I know, but I was swelling with national pride not long ago knowing that the fitter of the two princes (in my opinion) was willing to go to the front line with the troops. I realise that he would more than likely attract insurgent attacks and all that but the idea of a royal putting his blue blooded arse on the line had me all atwitter.

Atwitter??? Is that a word???

Also, my mates are all going on holiday and I can't. No dosh. No fair. Where did I put those kitchen knives?

Saying that, I did just buy a ridiculously expensive ticket to go see Carmen in November. But even if I hadn't decided the opera deserved a visit from yours truly I still wouldn't have had enough pennies. I need to find a rich older man, marry him, then wait for him to kick the bucket. I'd have no trouble shaging a wrinkly arse if it meant a few million, I have no scruples.

As it is, I'm just gonna pull on my boots, go find good old reliable Alex, shag him senseless, steal his wallet, and take my corrupt self shopping. I am evil, but the bastard will forgive me since he has a blind spot where I am concerned. Besides... he's loaded and I'm skint.

Ten points if you know who this is.

No?

Ok, I'll tell you. Tis a young Gary Oldman *wibble* therefore a young Sirius Black. I felt the need to justify my attraction to Mr Oldman. This is my justification.

I'm sorry. I had to. It's just wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. *shudder*

Going to go scourgify my brain now.